What is Self-Esteem?
Definitions of self-esteem vary in their breadth and sophistication. But all agree that high self-esteem means that we appreciate ourselves and our personal worth. More specifically, it means:
- we have a positive attitude
- we value ourselves highly
- we're convinced of our own abilities
- we see ourselves as competent, in control of our own lives and able to do what we want.
In addition, we compare ourselves favourably with others. Low self-esteem can mean helplessness, powerlessness and even depression.
American psychologist Abraham Maslow included self-esteem in his hierarchy of needs. He described two forms of esteem: the need for respect from others and the need for self-respect, or inner self-esteem. Respect from others includes recognition, acceptance, status, and appreciation, and was believed to be more fragile and easily lost than inner self-esteem. According to Maslow, without the fulfillment of the self-esteem need, individuals will be driven to seek it and unable to grow and obtain what he termed 'self-actualization'.
Modern theories of self-esteem explore the reasons why humans are motivated to maintain a high regard for themselves.
The word 'esteem' comes from a Latin word that means 'to estimate'. Self-esteem is how you estimate yourself. To do that, you need to ask yourself certain questions.
Do I like myself?
- Do I think I'm a good human being?
- Am I someone deserving of love?
- Do I deserve happiness?
- Do I feel deep down that I'm an okay person?
People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer yes to these questions. Perhaps you are one of them. If so, what can you do?
What can I do to raise self-esteem?
There is much that you can do to raise your own self-esteem. It isn't something you can do overnight, it takes time. Building self-esteem is a process that you must go through, and for that reason, some people often find the help of a therapist is important to keep them focused and on track.
Click here to download my free worksheet: 10-steps to raising self-esteem